A year ago today, I didn’t realize just how quickly my life would be flipped upside down. How much sadness, pain, betrayal, and hurt I would endure in 2016 could not even be fathomed one year ago, but this was the beginning of the end.
I remember getting the phone call, standing in the toilet corridor, falling to my knees, and completely tearing up, unable to string a simple sentence together; the rug had been ripped out from under me, my baby had died.
From the moment I saw her, I felt an immediate connection. She was absolutely beautiful. So fluffy, and she had the sweetest aura surrounding her. Shy, and timid she reluctantly approached me, as my partner, and her then owner discussed her current routines, and the reasons why she was selling this beautiful creature. I never knew love at first sight, until I met Lady.
After the most scariest 3 hour ride of my life (heaviest rain, batshit crazy driver, GPS took us the scariest way possible..)We were on a dark porch talking with a random lady met online – my partner looking at me, awaiting for an answer – but it was already decided – Lady was coming home with us.
As someone that is absolutely scared of dogs (having been attacked multiple times growing up) I was sitting in the backseat for the 3 hour ride home, with a beautiful specimen, that was definitely more frightened of me, than I was of her. Fully aware that she may bite, or even growl in such a closed space I kept as much space as one can in the back of an FTO, but as we continued along the ride home, she slowly moved closer and closer, until her head was laying on my lap. I was smitten, beyond words.
5 years she spent with us, first 7 months at my mums house, being a princess inside, and the remaining years with my in-laws. She was well behaved, never barked, and well trained. Although she didn’t seem to like smaller female dogs. She’d always nip them if they got too close.
2016 was the longest, most heart wrenching years I have experienced so far. My heart was shattered due to losing my best friend, and holder of all my most private and honest thoughts and secrets. She was more than a pet to me, she really was my baby. I regret not giving her a better life, and not seeking help when she desperately needed it near the end. She deserved so much more than she got, she was so amazing, and I still feel awful for the menial life she lived. She really deserved so. much. more.
I’m glad she has made the journey over the rainbow bridge, for her days of suffering have now ended, I imagine her seeing, running and enjoying the freedom she deserved.
1 year on, I look back on the heartache, pain and betrayal that occurred after my baby’s departure, and I feel relief that I made it through. Her memory has kept me alive, and pushing through each day. Last year was full of pain, full of tears, and full of sadness, as we head through 2017, I will take the pain experienced, and ensure that I make this year a better year, a celebratory year just for making it this far.
Lady, baby, I love you beyond words could ever explain, or you could ever comprehend, I thank you for the amazing memories I experienced with you, and for bearing the ears that listened to a lot of sadness, pain, and for providing the fur that captured every single tear, and for the licks of kindess when I really needed a friend, you were always there. Thank you.
til we meet again, goodbye princess.
Lady ‘babee’ Cao
Xx 2007 – 2016 xX